Wednesday, February 22, 2017

The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms

When the universe was created there was only NyQuil. Then DayQuil. They both love each other but they are enemies. They have children called 'Enedryl, Zicam and my favorite, 'Tussin. This is close enough to the mythology in The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms.


The world worships DayQuil (I mean you have to go back to work sometime) but our hero is both scared of but secretly falls for NyQuil.  Duh, we all love NyQuil the best, even if that's reckless. He might be bad for us. When you love NyQuil you do crazy things like email your boss in Esperanza or buying three pounds of goji berries on the Internet.

I didn't really enjoy this book.  The mortals in this book are pretty despicable and then our hero Yiene...I just can't relate.  She makes decisions solely based on her id.  She has a "temper" and there is some really crappy sex scenes/romance with a "bad boy." (could be someone that tried to kill her 100 pages previously) but it's fine. Everything is fine. So exciting. Sigh. I guess it's a spoiler to tell you she has sex with NyQuil.....which everyone knows you are SUPPOSED to quit after seven days.

I think having a god for a boyfriend would be problematic. I mean, he probably still farts in his sleep and will make you drop what you are doing because he can't find his me-damn socks! Anyway, this book wasn't my thing. I have heard her more recent series is better but I'm too dubious to give her a second chance, there being a lot of fantasy out there to read and all.

Hey if you haven't guessed it I was sick when I read this. I did make this is amazing cocktail right before I got sick. Cognac French 75 (which I made with Brandy) 1 and 1/2 ounces cognac or brandy, 1/2 ounce simple syrup, 1/2 ounce fresh lemon juice.  Put these in a cocktail shaker with ice, shake and strain into a martini glass.  Top with champagne (I used prosecco).  Super yummy.

Monday, February 13, 2017

River of Doubt

I think it's safe to say that Theodore Roosevelt was our "toughest" President.  I don't mean his military or economic policies no, I mean the man got shot during a campaign speech and finished it bleeding through his shirt. No big deal. What the actual Eff.  Maniac.  He liked having wilderness adventures when he felt stressed. When he tried to run as a third party candidate in 1912 he lost.  So what to do...what to do....I know, go on a Amazon river adventure that was insanely dangerous. Good plan.

I'm good now on Amazon adventures. (I read The Lost City of Z about 5 years ago).  I have learned most everything in the Amazon can kill you and probably will. Parasites, bot-flies, piranhas, rotten feet, rapids, indigenous people who will kill you (but might not bother that day), alligators and snakes. Plus malaria and those crazy frogs.  It may be worse than Australia. Pretty much you're going to die.  It's still spooky there. Do you want dengue fever? No, well, it's too late you've got it now. The only thing that won't kill you are these cute little sloths.

By the way, Roosevelt's party would have eaten this little guy if they could see them. But in the wild sloths are covered with green algae which makes them camouflaged. Anyway, they had some scary adventures and people died.  River of Doubt is well researched and written, even if there are parts that a little slow.  At one point I had to tell myself to PADDLE PADDLE to get through to the next part.

Still, I can't see any of our ex-Presidents doing something like this adventure.  Even "nice-guy" Jimmy Carter: "I've looked at a lot of these monkeys with lust.  I've committed adultery in my heart many many times." George W Bush, "Mission Accomplished." Um, sir we haven't even left the Dallas Ft. Worth airport. No, they don't make um like Theodore Roosevelt anymore. (psst...I'm glad he wasn't my Dad though...maniac).

There was a couple of bottles of scotch on the trip which had to be rationed.  Why not read this book with a Smoking Pistol (seems appropriate) from Imbibe Magazine:  3/4 oz scotch, 3/4 oz. sweet vermouth, 1/2 oz. Rye, 1/4 ounce Armagnac,  a bar-spoon of Benedictine,  2 dashes of Peychaud's Bitters, 1 dash of Angostura bitters.  Put these ingredients in a mixing glass and stir until chilled. Twist a lemon peel over the top of the drink and discard.  Be glad you don't have malaria.