Monday, July 22, 2019

Fifth Season (Broken Earth Trilogy)

Do you know your Mohs' scale? How's your plate tectonic knowledge? Well, you didn't know you'd need that geology class while trying to relax reading a fantasy book. You thought your Bachelors in Elf Sciences would be enough.  Don't worry, it's not like the math problems of The Martian. And a lot less boob jokes. Actually, no boob jokes. A boob or two will come up in this trilogy but that's a serious matter.

The series does have cool world-building based on earthquake magic. Keep in mind this is set in a post-apocalyptic world so the snacking breaks are both few and lame.  Apparently if they run out of meat they will die. Wait a minute, I haven't eaten meat in over 20 years and I'm not dead yet, so that part was irksome. You will not die. You will be regular and have energy to run from monsters. C'mon.

I liked this series much more than her other book but I have a hard time relating to her characters. They feature strong women leaders that put themselves in harm's way. Not me. I'm more like Tyrion Lannister. First, why is this now my problem to solve? Second, if it needs to be solved can my book learning and sneaky understanding of basic psychology solve the problem?  Most importantly, can I convince someone else to put themselves in harm's way?  Also, we can plan and solve problems over wine and add a little joke too. I GET YOU TYRION. 

You'll need to read these all back to back as she does not recap. The good news is that the second book is probably the best one in the series which is unusual. It is a big commitment though.

Hey, if you have a volcanic winter you're going to be missing some sunshine. So drink a Sunshine: 2 ounces of white rum, 1/2 ounce french vermouth, one ounce pineapple juice and one dash grenadine.  Combine all in shaker with ice and strain into a coupe glass.

Thursday, July 18, 2019

I Might Regret This

Abbi's book about heartbreak. I don't think I've ever gone through heartbreak like the kind she describes in this book.  I had guys break up with me and it felt like getting fired from a  really crappy job... you...are firing me? How dare you? I'm sad! Oh wait, this is awesome. The longest I've been sad is three days. I've been sadder longer about being out of maraschino cherries. Hey, when you are out of the actual cherries you can put the syrup over ice's the gift that keeps on giving.

Abbi is very much a Millennial which is fine, fine, Millennials have passed baby boomers recently as the biggest generation. I welcome our new overloads. I love all the headlines that say "Millennials are killing Hooters by never going to the completely outdated concept for overpriced crappy food and misogyny." I might be paraphrasing.

I Might Regret This will make a lot more sense if you've seen Broad City. Some say you don't need to but I really think you should. Otherwise this book makes almost no sense. It's decent but at the same time don't feel bad if you skip it. She has some of her drawings in here which are quaint but also kind of crappy? I don't mean to be a hater but it kind of inspires to draw again as I would never publish those. She definitely puts herself out there in Broad City and this book. Not me. Nothing is ever good enough. A Gen X book is more title is more like: This Book Probably Sucks.

Abbi gets an over-hyped and overpriced cactus pear margarita. I think I once had a cactus pear candy. It was underwhelming. They just don't have a ton of flavor. Cute as all get-out though. Lets try a better margarita and: Raspberry Margarita mix 1 &1/2 ounces tequila, 1 ounce triple sec or Cointreau, 1 ounce lime juice, and 1/2 fresh raspberries and one cup of ice in a blender. Blend until smooth and pour into a chilled margarita glass.  Garish with a fresh raspberry. Normally I'm against frozen blended drinks but with summers like this I'm willing to forgo my prejudice.