Theft by Finding

You guys know what you're getting yourselves into right? Theft by Finding is a collection of David Sedaris' diaries from 1977-2002. This should not be your introduction to his work and the first few years are kind of grim. In fact, there are a number of sad stories in this book but he is great at his wry, funny way to look at life--I mean, really he's made a whole career out of it.  

If you were disappointed in the last book this is much more of his classic style, pared down but spot on.  It inspired me to keep my own thoughts for a bit. Here is my diary entry "Sedaris-style": I think my back pain is something called “computer back.” You would think you could come up with a better title.  I like the good old days when aliments had names like Dowager’s Hump. It's  descriptive, vaguely classy and slightly insulting.  

Here's another one: I got a haircut and noticed that when I style it myself it looks a whole lot like Evie’s. Evie is my friend Terry’s daughter. She’s a cute girl, don't get me wrong, but unfortunately she’s a first grader. To make matters worse, this was Evie’s haircut last year.   

Well, that's my pale imitation of what this book is like. The book gets much more fun when he's just starting to get successful but still desperate enough to take that Macy's elf job. I admire the fact that he's been so diligent all of these years.  He spent nearly all of his nights at IHOP drinking coffee and writing. I kept a diary for about three weeks but the people at work are mind-numbingly boring.  Overheard at my job: "You know what my kid likes to take in his lunch? Lunchables." Here's another one: "You know, I kind of like that Joel Osteen." Kill me now. 

It feels funny adding a drink as David had a drinking problem (drugs too) and gave it up some time ago. But we drink in moderation and live our boring lives so we should be good right? Sure we are. Here's a fall cocktail called Stone Wall.  Muddle in a shaker an inch of sliced fresh ginger with one and half teaspoons of simple syrup.  Add one and half ounces of aged rum, and one and half ounces of apple cider.  Fill the shaker with ice and shake and strain.  Pour into a rocks glass with ice and top with an ounce and half of ginger beer.  Garnish with a lime wedge and apple wedge.        

Gilded Cage

Fantus interupptus: a fantasy series that consists of multiple books that end with a cliffhanger....oh, AND the other books haven't been published yet. C'mon man!  Gilded Cage is a very British fantasy/dystopian novel. Very British. Set an alternative reality Great Britain, the gentry are rich, powerful and magical. The commoners are not magical and have to do ten mandatory years of slavery at some point.  You read that right--slavery.  Of course, with our slow wage growth and health care costs we all have to do about 40 years ho-ho!

There is a political element and a magical element and British-y things. This book is not say... China Mieville's The City and the City sophisticated style political intrigue. (That is one of those books I like more in retrospect).  I live on the border or two cities and it's getting weird. The other day they paved half the street and stopped because the other half is in the "poor city." As if you couldn't guess, I live in the poor city as a commoner. Maybe my city spends all of it's money on matcha powder and succulents like I do. I don't think they do but I WISH. I'm sorry your house is on fire but here is a matcha latte. I'd be like, oh--free latte!

All of the magical gentry are evil except for a few good ones and maybe some marginal ones. They are pretty and have cool houses and can erase your memories if they do something weird to you. Kind a like erasing a bad Tweet I guess. I'm pretty sure that is what my cats do to me when I sleep.  They raise a tiny paw and point it at my head then command me to forget that they have raked their razor claws across my back in my sleep. I wake up like: What's this? with no recollection. I'm going to blame them for all of my random aches and pains. Like if my knee hurts, could it be from doing martial arts for eighteen years? No, it's the cats, it's always the cats and their hypnosis. Anyway, I kind of liked this book, it's not heavy, very YA but I don't know, kind of cool if you aren't expecting Tolkien or anything. (pro tip: you should not expect Tolkien any time you read...unless it's Tolkien, or course).

The gentry in book wear high fashion clothes so why not drink with this drink called High Fashion? (it also seems both delicious and British-y): 2 ounces Plymouth Gin, 1&1/4 ounces elder flower liqueur like St. Germain, 1&1/4 ounces grapefruit juice, 2 dashes of rhubarb bitters.  Shake with ice, strain and garnish with a grapefruit peel.