You guys know what you're getting yourselves into right? Theft by Finding is a collection of
David Sedaris' diaries from 1977-2002. This should not be
your introduction to his work and the first few years are kind of grim. In
fact, there are a number of sad stories in this book but he is great at his
wry, funny way to look at life--I mean, really he's made a whole career out of
it.
If you were disappointed in the last book this
is much more of his classic style, pared down but spot on. It inspired me
to keep my own thoughts for a bit. Here is my diary entry
"Sedaris-style": I think my back pain is something called
“computer back.” You would think you could come up with a better
title. I like the good old days when aliments had names like
Dowager’s Hump. It's descriptive, vaguely classy and slightly insulting.
Here's another one: I got a haircut and
noticed that when I style it myself it looks a whole lot like Evie’s. Evie
is my friend Terry’s daughter. She’s a cute girl, don't get me
wrong, but unfortunately she’s a first grader. To make matters worse, this
was Evie’s haircut last year.
Well, that's my pale imitation of what this book
is like. The book gets much
more fun when he's just starting to get successful but still desperate enough to
take that Macy's elf job. I admire the fact that he's been so diligent all of
these years. He spent nearly all of his nights at IHOP drinking coffee
and writing. I kept a diary for about three weeks but the people at work are
mind-numbingly boring. Overheard at my job: "You know what my kid
likes to take in his lunch? Lunchables." Here's another one: "You know, I kind of like that Joel Osteen." Kill me now.
It feels funny adding a drink as David had a drinking problem (drugs too) and gave it up some time ago. But we drink in moderation and live our boring lives so we should be good right? Sure we are. Here's a fall cocktail called Stone Wall. Muddle in a shaker an inch of sliced fresh ginger with one and half teaspoons of simple syrup. Add one and half ounces of aged rum, and one and half ounces of apple cider. Fill the shaker with ice and shake and strain. Pour into a rocks glass with ice and top with an ounce and half of ginger beer. Garnish with a lime wedge and apple wedge.