Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Dark Forest

SPACE FORCE! We do indeed have a space force in The Dark Forest but in this sequel to Three Body Problem, some jokers from a another planet are coming to earth to annihilate us as we have nice beaches or something. An important plot point is that they are coming from really far away and it will take them over 300 years to get here. Jokes on them it will be one big hot landfill by then. Sure, come and enjoy your garbage beach. We treat this planet like a high school senior that went to Daytona. Trashed and everyone gets the Herps.

There is a female character in here that is I mean...just worse than a Mary Sue. Now, a Mary Sue is a character so perfect that she upstages the protagonist. This one doesn't even do that. This is literally a dream woman/girl and serves no additional function than the comfort you could get from a nice memory foam mattress.  I've read more nuanced sex robot characters. Now, I can't tell if its bad writing, a bad translation or the author is just a real weirdo. According to wikipedia the author's wife and daughter almost never read his books. (It shows, dude, it shows).

I read this book because a very nice person recommended it. Yes, I read the first book and was like ok, cool, but it was kind of challenging and I'm good, but no, he's insisted and like someone buying you a beer it's hard to say no. I can't tell you how many times I've made the delicious free beer mistake. Both literally and metaphorically.  At least we had an interesting discussion. (A part of me was like....um, the ladies in the book though...I mean c'mon man). The nice person was a man as you might have guessed. Any woman that read this would be like, I'm not normally pro burning books but....I could make an exception.

Dark Forest is long and complicated.  But this sequel to Three Body Problem has less theoretical physics, more game strategy and some philosophy. His references to God were really weird, like he'd heard of the concept of God but didn't really understand it. Women and God. I don't understand them...but I'll put them in the book anyway!  It would be like writing a whole section on deep sea diving and never seeing the ocean.  What do you mean a human can't normally breathe underwater? Poppycock. Anyway, you can skip this one unless you looooved Three Body Problem. Yeah, I thought so.

Since we have a while before the space aliens get here, why not drink this earthly (and summer-garden) cocktail?  Basil Gimlet:  2 ounces dry gin, 3/4 ounce lime juice, 1/2 ounce simple syrup, 3-5 basil leaves.  Put all in a cocktail shaker with ice, shake and strain into cocktail glass. Garnish with a basil leaf.

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