Friday, January 18, 2019

Borne


If my hoarding ever paid off and in a dytopian future you needed me to leave my compound David Koresh style, it turns out my weakness is blasting Billy Joel. I will run away faster than if you had thrown a Maltov cocktail.  I was in a craft store the other day and I thought it would be a good place to plan a revolution, like ya do, and then they blasted We Didn't Start The Fire and I high-tailed it out of there so fast. I thought NO DEAL, no deal!
 
Set in a dytopian future, Borne is set in very bleak scenario involving corporate biotech and monsters. Think "CRISPR" meets Dr. Moreau. Our lady, Rachel, finds a creature she named Borne but no one knows who the heck it, or what it is. Here's the deal, I love the creature Borne, he is a delight. But I'm not crazy about scavenger runs across the dystopian landscape. I said I was going to take a break from dystopia in 2018 and even though this is decent I should have kept that promise.

At least our protagonist has a normal name. I'm sick of reading the author's rejected baby names. "Finnegan" was worried that the shadow was following him.  Or "Blakely" wasn't sure she could trust the handsome stranger named "Sage." Ugh. So our girl, Rachel (whew), lives in this place has that has a stash of supplies and a maze like entrance which is an important plot point. My old house is apparently a food utopia with multiple security breaches. We've had some mice over the years. The cats do nothing. I'm convinced that there is a little hobo-mouse symbol at my house that says "Food + 2 dumb cats."

In this book you can get drunk by sucking on a biotech minnow full of alcohol. Sounds delicious. I think we can do better than that: Kentucky Mulled Cider--put 1&1/4 ounces of bourbon in a mug and add warm apple cider, put a dash of allspice and garnish with a cinnamon stick.


Thursday, January 10, 2019

Summer Wives

Was the past sexier than we think? Well, there are 7.2 billion people right now so maybe so, maybe so. Goodreads considers Summer Wives historical fiction. Well, I guess technically if you think a Jackie Collins novel with hats is historical fiction then fine. The author feels that she should write novels about "what women were really feeling" back in the olden times. My take away was sex, sex, drinks and more sex. While I loved history as a student this was not what we covered. Ok, those Spartan soldiers were a little freaky. That was covered in college. I went to a Catholic high school so they conveniently skipped some details.

They say teenagers are having less sex because they are on their phones all the damn time. Summer Wives was set in the 50's and at one point the young people signal each other with flashlights so I mean, that's kind like texting. I wonder if you could make filthy messages with Morse Code. Baby, I didn't think you were going to send that last dot but wow, you did.

Summer Wives was not really my thing. I liked the setting (a small island --a rich summer place, like the Hamptons off the coast of Rhode Island) but that's not good enough. But hey, if you like your historical fiction with less guns and more buns then this might be up your alley. 

They drink a lot in this book. While mostly gin and tonics, someone busts out some whiskey.  This seems classy enough for the "tony" set: Port Old Fashioned: 2 ounces of whisky, 1/2 ounce tawny port, a drizzle of maple syrup, 3 dashes of Angostura bitters and orange peel.  Take the orange peel and muddle it with the syrup and bitters to release the oils. Add the whiskey and port and one of those large ice cubes. Stir to dilute.