Dreamsnake

Dreamsnake written in 1978, in which our hero, named Snake (confusingly) who is a traveling healer that heals with snakes she keeps in one of those giant purses. You know, the kind Kim Kardashian carries around. That would make Kim much more interesting if her Hermes bag was full of snakes. (I'll bet its not full of snakes....Boo!)

I don't know if Vonda McIntyre was on the cutting edge or just got lucky about the use of snake venom in making modern medicine. Now the fact that Ms. Snake acquired immunity by getting lot of bites is nothing new. Apparently the practice is called Mithridatism. That is an awesome name for a really weird hobby. Ms. Snake does not carry a black mamba but I once saw this documentary about a black mamba getting scared of a moving Jeep that went right past her so she tried to bite it. A moving Jeep going about 30 mph.  It was adorable. It was the only way she could cope with stress. Strike and Chomp. Oh..that's a good name for a bowling alley that sells food.

This is a pretty weird book but overall it's interesting. Apparently birth control in the future is done by Bio-control.  It seems that young men and women are taught techniques and the guys have to learn how to get their scrotum really hot? Too hot to produce sperm? At least that was my take-away. How this is accomplished is beyond me.  Yogic practices? Futuristic Tighty Whities? Hot Wings? That was left for the reader to figure out. Dreamsnake really raises more questions than it answers.

Need to milk some snakes this holiday? Who doesn't.  Why not read this with a nice Milk Punch which is really an alcoholic milk shake....not that I'm complaining!: 1/2 cup half and half, 1/4 cup whole or 2% milk, 1/4 cup bourbon, 1-2 tsp (or more) of sugar, 1/4 tsp vanilla extract.  Blend into a frothy goodness. Stir a couple of ice cubes and strain.  Pour into cups or mugs and top with freshly grated nutmeg. Serves two.    

Among Others

 Among Others is about a girl who loves sci-fi and fantasy.  Nerd Alert! More books get referenced than a dissertation.

This has the "I've been sent to a British boarding school and it sucks" thing, the "coming of age as a massive geek thing," and the "my mother is a psychopath that is mentally-ill" and/or a "my mother is a psychopath that has magical powers" thing. Granted, that last one is a little strange but it reminds me of Grimm's fairy tales. Mmmmmm, house made out of candy...now that I think about it, why did the witch want to eat the children when her whole house is made out of gingerbread and candy?  Then I figured it out: Paleo Diet.

This whole story is told from our narrator's diary. The fact that she can talk to fairies and do magic is very matter of fact but I suppose a cavalier attitude is a 15 year old's forte. This book is really a love letter to SF geeks, librarians and disaffected youths.  Didn't The Smiths do a song "Stop me if you've think that you've read this Le Guin before."  This book is geek level 11 so that joke was necessary.

Comic Book guy would love this: "Um, excuse me, but um, you could read this but you cannot enjoy it on as many levels as I do...(*sigh*)"  I didn't get half the references myself. I guess on the geek continuum I'm just not there.  We all know those people that are uber-geeks, such that they become "difficult" sometimes and not in a funny way, but in a pedantic and creepy way. If you are an uber-geek, keep it light even if Han shot first. It's cool, Jeez.  Anyway, this is a fantasy coming of age story (which I like) with, frankly, a few too many Sci-Fi book references, but overall, enjoyable.

Our narrator hates all drinks but water....really? Ok, fair enough, why not something light and low-alcohol so you don't make a fool of yourself with your boss at the office Christmas party...White Noise Spritz: 1&1/2 ounces Cocchi Americano Bianco (I think Lillet would work too), 1 ounce St-Germain, 2 ounces club soda. Fill a tom collins glass with ice and add the Cocchi and St. Germain. Top with the club soda and serve with a grapefruit twist.  

The Invisible Bridge

Invisible Bridge is a historical novel based on the author's relatives who were Hungarian Jews living in Europe during WWII.  I don't think it's a spoiler alert to tell you...some bad stuff is going to happen. Hey there smarty, you just figured out that someone must live long enough to become the author's progenitor. There were no sperm banks in 1938.  Wow, I'm really glad there wasn't because: Baby Hitlers.

Julie Orringer admits the romance part of this book is totally made up, and frankly, it shows. Unfortunately this section is huge...like two to three hundred pages of overly sentimental romance. Yuck. She got a National Endowment of the Arts grant to write Invisible Bridge....shhh...don't tell the politicians. This book is ok, but the history part, while a bit grim, was a much better section. I'm thinking: Do I hate historical fiction and just like history?  But then I remembered All the Light We Cannot See.  Which was amazing. Maybe that book was the LeBron James of historical fiction; you only get one of those in a generation.

This very first part of this book is fantastic...our narrator gets a scholarship to study architecture in Paris in 1938.  Fish out of water going to school in Paris, cool, cool, needs more wizards, but ok. Then he meets a lady (250 pages of a romance novel), then the war breaks out and we get a history lesson. While I think every educated person should know the events leading to and after the war, you really don't need to do that with a less than sexy bathtub scene in the mix. Holocaust history made sexy! Pass.

Before the grim part, our narrator's life was pretty sweet. How about a champagne cocktail? Southside Royale: 2 ounces gin, 3/4 ounce lime juice, 3/4 ounces simple syrup. Put these ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice.  Shake and strain into a champagne flute and top with champagne.

A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms

Want some companion stories to Game of Thrones? Of course you do, you addict. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms is a compilation of the three "prequel" short stories set about 100 years before the Fire and Ice books. You may have heard of these as the Tales of Dunk and Egg.  That sounds like the adventures of randy British schoolboys. Like a medieval Porky's.  It isn't. Sorry.

Dave says George must have made up those names while eating breakfast, and I didn't even tell him of the adventures of Quisp and Special K. Quisp really does sound like a Game of Thrones character, I wonder if he gets confused with the notorious sea pirate Cap'n Crunch.

If you've read the Fire and Ice books and think you'll just breeze through knowing who all these characters are....you'll get a whole lot of nope. You think you'll be able to sort these names, nope, nope and nope. You'll need the internet or be comfortable with the confusion.

This book is illustrated by Gary Gianni which may trick you to think it is more children-friendly. Is it not. It is a little violent and it doesn't have explicit sex but two of illustrations have naked ladies.  My friend Richard does illustration work for a D&D derivative game called Harn. One time he used me as a model for a peasant. If you are ever having a good day but want to turn it into a bad day...just look at yourself in a rendered drawing as a peasant. Yes, I had clothes on, the type of clothes that come straight from the streets of Bucharest during the war. The Russo-Turkish War of 1887.  

Anyway, the book is ok, but not amazing.  It could get you through an uncertain but distant future before the next book if you need a Game of Thrones fix. If you are interested in Richard's work he has a separate blog just for his illustration work. luschekillustrationblog.blogspot.com  For the right price he could draw you as a peasant and ruin your day too.

Drinks: In honor of our beloved Egg character why not drink a famous cocktail that uses an egg white? Egg whites make cocktails all frothy, but use safety precautions because raw eggs put you at risk of Salmonella, which feels like something you would pick up quite easily in Westeros. Ramos Fizz: 1&1/2 oz. gin, 1/2 oz. lime juice, 1/2 lemon juice, 1&1/4 oz. simple syrup, 2 oz. milk or half-and-half, 1 small egg white, 2 dashes orange flower water, club soda. Combine everything but the club soda in a shaker with ice.  Shake, strain and put in a highball glass with ice and top with the club soda.

Fevre Dream

Before George R.R. Martin spent his time rolling around on a pile of coins he wrote a vampire book set on a steamboat. While this was written over 30 years ago, it's not dated because, hey, it's vampires!  Also, it is set in the olden times so these vampires aren't going to Blondie concerts and hanging out with Andy Warhol.  Actually, I think that is a good idea.

I read this right before Halloween, and nothing is spookier than a steamboat...wait, what? I have it on good authority that George is quite intrigued with steamboats.  Trust me, after reading this, I didn't need the inside information, it's readily apparent. I did learn the difference between a texas deck and a hurricane deck (I had to google the anatomy of a steamboat), so that knowledge is going on my 2016 resume. I once saw an actor's resume that said: "excellent headstands and push-ups," and I thought that was one the funniest things I've ever seen.  She did get a Pepperidge Farm commercial. They must have cut out the scene with her eating Milanos between push ups.

Fevre Dream is a perfectly fine vampire novel.  Warning: there is copious use of the N-word. Granted, it is set during slavery time but I wonder if an author could get by with doing that today. Well, George probably could because he's rich and famous now and gives zero cares. I've read my fair share of  decent vampire books and Fevre Dream is like those books but with steamboats! Yeah, it's still not an easy sell.

Drinks: It is officially fall cocktail season and this one sounds perfect: Stone Wall: Take a one inch piece of ginger and muddle in a shaker with 1 & 1/2 tsp of simple syrup, then add 1 & 1/2 ounces of aged rum and an equal amount of apple cider.  Fill the shaker with ice and shake well. Strain into a ice filled rocks glass and top with 1-2 ounces of ginger beer, garnish with a lime wedge and apple slice. As this has less alcohol than a typical cocktail you can keep your wits about for those pesky vampires, or pilot a steamboat..whatever.

Vanity Fair

Vanity Fair is not as funny as the Dickens' novels I have read, which is sad, although to be fair I may not be getting all the jokes. I think some of the names are a play on words or referencing famous people we don't remember anymore.  Perhaps it's like hearing a 200 year old Honey Boo-Boo joke.

One of the strangest aspects of this book is the narration. Throughout the novel the narrator keeps mentioning himself almost randomly.  It felt just like the old "Clippy" when Microsoft Word was new and Clippy would pop up asking if you were writing a letter. If you don't remember Clippy, well congratulations!  Either you are too young to remember him or suppressed this memory. In this book Thackeray is popping up telling you:  It looks like you are reading my novel.  Did you know you are reading my novel?

Yeah, we know, Clippy, calm down, that's what being an author is all about. I'm just going to put you in in the corner there, now feel free to fall asleep because I've got this.

Don't be tempted to read anything on the internet about this book (you'll be tempted to sort out the characters) but they put in spoilers. That happened to me.  I had about 30 pages left and spoiled the ending for myself. I had 200 years..... Anyway, this is not bad at all if you are interested in reading the classics, again this was originally published as a serial (that means it is very big--900 pages--so consider yourself warned).

Vanity Fair is a darker, more satirical and more critical of the society than most olden times books. I'm pretty sure Thackeray was a Gen-Xer. I think Social Security ran out right before he was ready to collect too.

Drinks: In this book, what you drank was a complete class "thing." In some ways that's still true but now it is more about quality than whole categories of drinks.  Gentlemen drank Claret or Madeira. Drinking gin was like one step above a homeless dude. Our villain (brilliant but evil) drinks a Rum Shrub which I think was not all that classy.  However, a Rum Shrub sounds kind of awesome.....Blackberry Rum Shrub:  2 ounces dark rum, 1/2 ounce shrub syrup, club soda.  The Shrub Syrup is 2 cups blackberries, 1 cup sugar and let that sit in a bowl for 1 and half hours. strain and add 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar (refrigerate--this keeps for 2 months in the fridge). Combine the rum and syrup in a Collins glass with ice and top with the club soda. It's getting a little cold for this but I'm hoping for an Indian Summer.  

Kindred

Why do authors think time travelling would be all sunshine and rainbows? What kind of narcissist thinks they would get to meet Shakespeare and the Queen in the same afternoon? No, in the past you pooped in a hole. Finally a book that addresses pooping in a hole. I think that is why Octavia Butler got a MacArthur Genius grant. Well, it may be because this is a brilliant spin on sci-fi dystopian historical fiction written in 1979 and still holds up.

The plot is interesting. Our protagonist, Dana, a modern African-American woman, is involuntarily time travelling to an ante bellum slave plantation and that is not good. Yeah, time travelling is not always fun. I also feel this way when people talk about reincarnation, which I don't really believe in anyway, but if I did, why in the world would I think I was a French princess? If I was reincarnated my lives would look like this: peasant, farmer, serf, serf, thief, died in childhood from a pox, serf, serf, indentured servant, slave, pox, pox, pox (rough time), prostitute, merchant, farmer, serf, priest, tenant farmer. I was never fancy or rich except one time I did alright as a merchant and had a caravan that was as nice as a used Lexus. Also, I would take gifts (mostly snacks and beer) when I was a priest for forgiving your sins. If you gave me a nice cake I would even forgive a mortal sin. Mortal Sin Cake. So good.

Kindred is very short novel and I love that it has an actual plot.  I've been trying to slog through several books that were too postmodern stream of consciousness for me.  I don't care about people's dreams and I do like to know what the heck is happening. Also, it might be good if something is happening. So, this is was a good break. I've seen this book on a curriculum for a college course and it does include some historical tidbits that the educated reader might find tedious (if you are reading this--that's you). However, this book's concept is brilliantly subversive but it's a good read too. Genius.

Drinks: for some reason, I'm craving Mortal Sin Cake and beer.  I had a fun beer recently from 3 Floyds called Yum Yum. I take umbrage when people say that Indiana sucks. Not with that brewery. I do think, though, someone named Randy works there.  Brew serf Randy.