Secret Garden

I know, I know I'm one of those people. I'd might as well admit I'm a crazy cat lady too. It's not exactly cool but, well, I enjoy the grown up coloring books.  Ah, you noticed that I did not say "adult." Well, that conjures up a different type of coloring book of which I would need more peach colored pencils.

This is the original one that went bananas.  I mean New York Times best-seller bananas. Some of it is because the quality of the paper is a little higher which takes pigment that feels very satisfying.

Well, if you know me, you know I have a perfectionist tendencies. (Yes, I know these photos could be better). So I color these as if they are going to be hung in the Vatican's collection. Why I do this...well I'm not sure. I also add things to the drawings if I find the composition wanting. That's pretty ballsy of me but I you gotta do what you gotta do.

I takes me about 4 to 6 months to finish a page so based on the fact that I have three books at at least 35 images each I'd say it will take me about 35 years to complete all three books.  I received another coloring book for my birthday this year and I was flattered my sister would think I would live that long.  

It's the start of summer so let's drink something light and fun--this one is from Martha Stewart.  Lillet-Basil Cocktail:  Put 1/2 cup Lillet Blanc, 1 ounce gin and one ounce freshly squeezed orange juice and 1/4 cup loosely packed basil in a cocktail shaker with ice. Strain into a cocktail glass and add a splash of tonic water.  Garnish with a basil sprig and slice of cucumber.   

The Shining Girls

Do you remember when Garth Brooks wanted to be a rock star and released an album under the name Chris Gaines? Apparently the album wasn't all that bad but everyone thought that Garth had lost his mind. This book is a little like that. It wants to be a thriller but with a twist! The killer is a time traveller. Good idea--but it turned out lame.

I think a killer from 1930 would stand out more. I mean women wearing slacks....short slacks? Why is everyone hatless? How some everyone looks like they are prepared to go to the gymnasium? You'd have so many questions it would distract you from your kill quest. Although a man from the turn of the century might fit in with some gentrified hipster neighborhood. "Excuse me ma'am, can you tell me where I can find new spats? Hipster Lady: "Well, around the corner is a mustache wax and artisan hay store, I would try there." 

I think I'm done with thrillers for a while.  The Shining Girls had gore but no suspense and time-travel but no surprises. Film noir type dialog that just sounded contrived. SWING AND A MISS! And there is a baseball bit in here for absolutely no reason...because of course there is...(heavy sigh).

This is the Chris Gaines album cover. Learn from this.

How about a prohibition era cocktail? I'm not a mint person but I think I would make an exception for this one which seems subtle. The Southside: 2 oz gin such as Plymouth, 1 oz lime juice, 3/4 oz simple syrup and one mint sprig. Combine these in a cocktail shaker and shake vigorously. Strain into a martini glass and garnish with another mint sprig. Apparently you are supposed to smash it a little bit to release the oil. So violent.

Good Omens

This book could also be called the Great British Book of Dad Jokes. But GBBDJ doesn't exactly roll off the tongue. For example, the demon named Mr. Crawley, is the same snake from the Garden in Eden--get it? The whole book is like that. Either you really like this sort of thing or you don't....you might think I would but it's not really my thing.

Good Omens is about the end times but set in 1990. It's a little dated. Computers are still kind of exotic in 1990 which blows my mind. I guess when they were new they were really frustrating and seemed to be evil spawned. Now it's like we worship the WiFi god. Reboot and you will be Saved! Save and you will be Saved! (That's directly from the good PDF of our Lord iGod). There was a false Microsoft god for a while but I mean....really...you might as well worship Ba'al.

If you like this humor and have been to London, remember the 90's, have seen The Omen, and know the very basic 4 horsemen thing but don't care that they incorrectly refer to the Book of Revelation as Revelations sometimes (I kind of care-- I KNOW I'M A NERD). Then read this. Sure. It's a classic in a way. If you do like this humor (and are an Anglophile) but want less jokes and more plot read Ben Aaronotvitch's Peter Grant series.

Ok--I found the perfect drink for both Cinco de Mayo and a British connection.  Pepino's Revenge is served at Wolfgang Puck's London restaurant and it sounds delicious: 4 thin slices of cucumber, 2 large basil leaves, 1&1/2 ounces of silver tequila, 1/2 oz. fresh lime juice, 1/2 ounce simple syrup. Muddle the cucumber and basil, add the tequila, simple syrup and lime juice to a cocktail shaker. Shake and strain into a glass with ice, garnish with more cucumber.  

Martin Chuzzlewit

Ecod! One character in Martin Chuzzlewit starts nearly every sentence this way.  I think he is scared of cods. My, Cod!  I'm not sure why he keeps coming across so many cods in London, or maybe he keeps dropping a cod he keeps in his pocket. No wonder no one liked this guy.

Ok, do not read this book if this is your first Dickens novel.  This book is sometimes known as the American one, because two characters go to America for a bit.  The Americans in this book are portrayed as rude, gun-toting, money obsessed, uncultured, swindling, patriotic folks who hate foreigners. I mean, really.....*cough.* Luckily, Martin Chuzzlewit is not set entirely in America.  The book is over 800 pages but there are sections that are hard to read especially the lady with the cockney accent who rambled -- I hated her more than the two villains in this book. Also, the Internet has ruined my attention span. I must admit that cracking nuts and drinking wine by the fire, which three characters do in this book, sounded really nice. Now we just show each other our phones with some YouTube clip. I want to crack some nuts...wait, that sounds nasty.

I would not consider this a comedy but there are some funny bits like when the guy was trying to take off his boots and promptly fell into the fireplace.  Also, there are a number of lines that probably not meant to be funny but definitely are, as in: "touching the organ for my own amusement" (he was playing a church organ). Everything sounds nasty!    

There is a drink featured in this book that according to Dickens is the only good thing about America. Sherry Cobbler: 1 orange slice, 1 lemon slice, 3/4 simple syrup, 3 ounces dry sherry. Muddle the orange and lemon in a pint glass and add the simple syrup and sherry.  Pour those into a cocktail shaker and shake vigorously. Strain and pour into your pint glass with some crushed ice.  Garnish with another orange wheel.  This will be pretty sweet and cold so wait until you are on a steamboat during the height of summer.

The Kind Worth Killing

I noticed that the sociopaths in thrillers are usually beautiful women. Apparently boobs can make men do things even at their own peril.  Like a boob Svengali. Listen, the only boob that can control you is yourself.

I think it would be fun to have an old lady serial killer.  Who is going to suspect Alice, the little piano teacher?  Well, it's true that she uses piano wire as a garrote but who would have thought she had the strength?  Little did they know she's been totally blasting her lats at the senior center's weight room. No one knew that Alice was totally jacked.

This book does not have an Alice, but The Kind Worth Killing has all kinds of weirdos. Sociopaths, narcopaths and general idiots.  In this book we get the "voice" of multiple characters, including their sociopathic thoughts.  It's interesting when you feel sympathy for a character because they kill for a fairly good reason, maybe self-defense, but then that sympathy degrades because then they kill because someone stole all the ketchup packets.

This book is a retelling of a classic thriller, Strangers on a Train. I'm not crazy about the writing but, meh, it's a thriller. There are the requisite twists and some suspense. It is not long, nor is it hard to read. It's like a literary Snickers. Creme Brûlée it is not.

Let's drink this with something fancy.  This is from Nancy Mitchell the Backyard Bartender: Lady Sibyl: (I think she was going through a Downton Abbey phase) 1 oz. gin, 3/4 oz. St. Germain, champagne or Prosecco.  Combine the gin and St. Germain over ice, shake and strain into a flute.  Top with the champagne or Prosecco.  

Oh She Glows Cookbook

I think we can all agree this is one of the dumbest names for a cookbook.  I almost feel like she lost a bet.  Maybe The Turd-town U.S.A Guide to Cooking would be worse. Despite the awful name, this cookbook is fantastic.  I mean 95% of the recipes I’ve tried, and it is close to half, are gold.  Gold! I tell you.  Here’s the thing, I’ve been a vegetarian for many years and let me just say the vegans have really stepped it up.  This one is not preachy it’s just easy and the recipes make really good food.  

I’ve made these recipes for my mother-in-law, my father-in-law, and even my family (who are notoriously hyper critical of my cooking) and everyone is like, this tastes….awesome.  And when I tell them --ha-ha that's vegan!  They say “Whaaaaat?” “You crazy.” I don’t think my mother-in-law said, “You crazy,” verbatim but you get the picture. 

If you have a decent natural foods pantry and even basic cooking skills you are good to go.  This book is written for the home cook and you can tell.  Like a lot of bloggers, these recipes have been tested.  When you get those fancy restaurant/café cookbooks, you need watch out.  Those editors are converting chef’s guesses and restaurant measurements and the editors occasionally (and inevitably) fall asleep at the wheel. 

The copy is fine, she seems like a perfectly nice Canadian girl, super cheery and someone I probably wouldn’t be friends with in real life.  Hey, maybe she has this super dark humor and she hides it really well.  If that’s true, Bravo, Angela, Bravo.  It doesn’t really matter as the food is great and her photos are as good as any professional food stylist. No, you do not have to be a vegan to enjoy this cookbook, so don't be all weird about using this cookbook.   

This is a part of the hungry narrator series so instead of a drink why not try the tomato soup recipe? It's stupidly easy (shhh...I won't tell). 

The Girl with Ghost Eyes

How would you get glasses if you had ghost eyes? I mean do you tell the doctor, "Hey, everything seems otherworldly and dead?" Do you get holy water drops? Ah, the burning!...Well, now quit squirming that's the exorcism working....

Anyway, this fantasy novel is set in olden times Chinatown.  Our lady, Li-Lin, is a Daoist priestess and just so happens to be a kung fu expert. Cool, cool.  Her "yin eyes" are her ability to see otherworldly spirits which comes in handy as she is an exorcist. There are some fun otherworldly creatures in this...I like a lovable creature that may be a monster. I am also a sucker for any Golem like creature. I like them whether they be the idiot robot type, the misunderstood Pinocchio type, or the Crap! it's Godzilla! destructo type.

M.H. Boroson has a Religion degree and a background in Mandarin (the martial arts descriptions he picked up from the movies).  This book is researched and it shows. I must admit that if you put a ghost cat in anything I'll like it. More ghost cat in the sequel please! Must...resist...cat...pun...ahhhh, DID IT. Hey this is a good little fantasy novel and lets give those Religious Studies people some love (and work).

This sounds appropriate: Red Lotus Cocktail: Fill a Tom Collins glass with ice.  Mix 1.5 ounces of lychee liquor, 1.5 ounces of vodka and 1.5 ounces of cranberry juice.  Stir. I would garnish with a lychee fruit if you can find one.  C'mon Spring!