Friday, February 15, 2013

Zombie Spaceship Wasteland

Oh Patton Oswalt, why did this have to happen.  I am going to blame your publisher.  But you need to take some responsibility for your name being sullied. Why did you not insist on someone editing your notebooks? You clearly had at least three slim notebooks, one memoir, one of comedic bits and one stream of consciousness.  A publisher approached you and said, "Hey you're so hot (culturally) right now why don't we publish a book?" Sure, you said, "I already have some material I've been collecting for the last 15 years." "Great! Here's your check."  The end.

I still love Patton Oswalt, I love his stand-up work and I'll always love that he made a wonderfully obscure Werner Herzog reference on NPR.  I even think he's a decent actor.  This...was not so hot.  It lacked execution.  It is the literary equivalent of that Nordic Track that you dry your track jackets on in the basement.  The memoir part is about growing up geeky outside D.C. The main take-away is that he missed all these great Black Flag shows because he grew up in the burgs and watched Star Wars.  The Star Wars-burgs bits are your entire career!  We can't relate to the Black Flag kids, they made fun of us remember?  With no transition, this book also consists of odd comedic bits.  Please refer to John Hodgman if you ever think about doing that crap again.  1000 hobo names takes a lot of work.  That's why its so funny.  I am positive you work much harder on your stand-up.  Go back to kissing Cherlize Theron in movies.

While I don't recommend this book, for drinks, pick something equally lame and without substance like a Zima.


  1. I prefer a Seagram's wine cooler...

  2. I don't remember any of this review except, "kissing Charlize Theron." That's OK, right?

  3. And the captcha on that last comment was epic: "840 hoHider"