Tuesday, January 29, 2013

A Dance with Dragons

Ok, Ok, I know most of you are watching this series on HBO and this is book five of the series, so I am not going to put any spoilers in this, I promise.  I take it you can infer from the title that at least two if not all three of the dragons are alive and they may or may not be dancing.

First of all, this book is gigantic.  It is also very hard to get through.  I started this in March 2012 and finished in January 2013.  I had to stop, make base camp, restore my oxygen tanks and hire some sherpas to get though it.  Adhipa, dude, I couldn't have done it without you. You my bro.

Establishing that one or more of said dragons is still alive, let us also assume that a certain girl-queen is also alive... perchance.  Unfortunately in this book, said queen, has taken up residence in a trailer park.  While she may have gentlemen "callers" for some reason she cannot get her ass out of her double wide.  Meanwhile, her "dragon-dogs" are tied up in chains near the septic tank.  It is quite tragic.  Obviously she's got potential, she did get that associates degree from the community college, but until she believes in herself, she'll never get out.  Luckily, one of the dragon-dogs bites (sets fire) to the mailman and she moves on.   By the way, this is about 800 pages of trailer park drama (not drama).

A whole lot of other stuff happens but the reader is confused and apathetic.  Someone has gout.  Actually, the gout was introduced in book 4, he still has gout. There is no discernible reason for this character's affliction.  I think Book 6 involves auditing the Lannister's offshore accounts.  I may never know, especially after my sherpa, Adhipa, tells everyone in the village what we had to go through.  

Drink with mead or a horn of ale.  I think mead takes about 2 years to ferment.  Start making the mead the day you start the book.


  1. "Hmm...4 or 5 paragraphs describing the gout... Let's go with 6."

  2. The gout guy is the king of wine country and has to be carried on a litter. I just think of him as a flesh and blood hedonism-bot.

  3. Hmm... I guess I won't point George to this review... :-)