Sunday, June 8, 2014

The Goldfinch

Donna Tartt only publishes a book every ten years.  When they come out, the publishing world goes ape-crap.  Apparently she spends the ten years between publishing books...writing...in longhand.  I think if she learned to type she could spend 2 years writing and the other 8 playing Bejeweled Blitz. (Donna, if you want to score over 350,000 points you're going to need a special gem.) Also, she must be very disciplined to make her paychecks last every ten years.  Stephen King must spend money like a baller buyin' Crystal in da club.

Anyway, this book was very hyped and it is good, but I didn't love it. Without spoilers, it's a big book (nearly 800 pages), and not, say, a light summertime read.  It is a coming of age novel about a teenager and his young adult years. Some of the people in this book are real turds. Tartt does a great job of making up fake rich people names including "Platt" and "Kitsey."  She went to Middlebury, so she would know. 

Anyway, our protagonist, Theo, goes through quite a bit of adversity and drama.  It is full of some life lessons, none of which apply to me as I am not rich, a recreational drug user, nor have I been heavily concussed. Of those three, the concussion is the most I can ever hope for.  It also does that weird thing that some books do and spends the last ten pages telling you the book's meaning.  I'm like, lady if I haven't learned its meaning after 770 pages well…I mean, YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE.  Other cons: It is lacking wizards, dragons and humor.  Pros: there are a few Harry Potter references.  I'm pretty sure those HP references are why she won the Pulitzer. It is possible she won it because she is a very good writer.  We will never know for sure.  

Some of the book is set in Amsterdam. Also, you should drink this with a yellow (goldfinch colored) pretty light cocktail.  This one seems perfect for summer: Dutch Lemonade: 1 & 1/2 ounces of citrus flavored vodka, 3 ounces fresh lemonade.  Add ice to a rocks glass, add the citrus vodka and lemonade and stir gently.  Garnish with a lemon twist. 

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