The Thursday Murder Club

If you don't have a backyard kiln like Seth Rogan, or you are afraid fly in a fart tube with a drunk unvaccinated weirdo to go on vacation, then taking at least a mini-break in your mind is needed. This is one of my favorite books I've read in the last two years. It is a delight. The recently released sequel is equally excellent.  

Richard Osman is famous in the UK. That's probably why his name is very LARGE on this cover. He is a comedian that hosts a quiz show and is very very tall.  He has a whisper of "monster" in his looks but this book is so great that I'll bet he's charming and delightful in real life.  While it would help to have a British friendly attitude, you don't have to be an Anglophile to like this.  

This is a quasi-cozy mystery involving older rich pensioners.  I say quasi-cozy because it is also a police procedural.  Well let's face it--the old people are the stars. It is entertainment and I haven't heard anyone I've recommended it to not like it.  While it does have a sense of humor, it is not the focus and the jokes are artfully peppered with some jokes. Read this if you need to do a relax.  It's been a stressful year and there is no end in sight.  I'm not sure what 2022 will bring but might as well expect the worse. Seems like at least once a week there is a bizarre news item. Why can't we have weird and dumb stories dominate the news again?  I'm thinking: a cottage cheese shortage, a bridge made just for ostriches, new bookbag designs, whether culottes are coming back, and volcano ash face masks. If the news thinks that those millionaires' dick rockets are the light and fun side of the news they need to read the room. 

While the crew in this book drink a lot of wine I think they would welcome a nice gin gimlet:  2 and 1/2 ounces of gin, 1/2 ounce of lime juice, 1/2 ounce of simple syrup. I like to shake my cocktails but if you want to avoid a cloudy cocktail you can stir. I don't care if its cloudy the shaking is just too fun. Also, if you are lazy like me you could replace the simple syrup with a little (probably a 1/4 oz) of agave nectar.   

 

Dreyer's English

Just what you've asked for...another book about grammar and spelling!  Hear me out, this book is hilarious. Please get an audio version because his dry humor puts some Brits to shame. You might want to get a written version because the end of the book is about commonly misspelled words and it sounds like a demented spelling bee. I imagine this is what went on at a Princeton party before the quarantine. "Spell supercilious on the first try or do a shot." Who am I kidding, those kids were doing lines of crushed Adderall.

It's as snarky as you would expect but it some ways the book is liberating because those old-school rules that you assume are canonical? Well, maybe they aren't? I'm still not a fan of when someone responds in a text with "K" instead of okay or even ok. I mean, am I not worth that one extra keystroke? You've reduced me to a one-keystroke friend.  Dreyer's English is geared more for people that write for a living. But then don't most of us write for living? You shouldn't send your boss an e-mail that says: "You need report and I good lady make report sometime." Now that I write that I kind of think that would be an awesome email.

It's hard to drink and write. And its really hard to drink and read but this cocktail seems sophisticated for Mr. Dreyer.  It's a variation of the Manhattan. Red Hook Cocktail: 2 ounces rye whiskey, 1/2 ounce Punt e mes (that's an Italian vermouth), 1/2 ounce Maraschino liquor. Add to a mixing glass and stir with ice.  Strain and garnish with a maraschino cherry. 

White Fragility

Hopefully you've heard of this book, but if not it is a fantastic introduction to systemic racism and white privilege. I think every human should read this book. Yes, even those of you that are "woke." Especially those of you that are woke. Even woke people sometimes need a cup of coffee. I know I did. Dave and I read this together over Christmas and before the virus we were telling everyone to read it--in person--which was interesting.  Something the author mentions in the beginning is how defensive people can be about resisting reading it or educating yourself. I had no idea how unintentionally comical those defenses would sound. Dave highly recommended this to someone and she said and I quote, "Well, I live in Harlem." Then she said, "Well, you don't have a stepson that is a quarter black." Dave almost did a spit take. It was more cringe inducing that something Larry David could write.

The author is a white woman that does diversity training and in some ways it does read a little like a power-point presentation. But that's okay because it works in this book. This is not theoretical, but it is full of examples of things white people can do, practical things, we can do to make a difference. She also admits that she still makes an occasional mistake even though she has been making a conscious effort to check her privilege long before the term woke existed. I've had to cut out a few friends that did not share my values. I must admit that was for selfish reasons.  Constantly "playing nice" to someone who lacks empathy is freaking exhausting. My next project is to call out family and co-workers (harder to cut them out) when they say something racist and it's hard but we have to do it. Nothing is going change if we don't. Please read this book or something like it. Whatever excuse you have not to is not good enough anymore.

Read this book with a little white wine. Get it? You do. We picked some up in upper Michigan, which, by the way, is super-duper white and it honestly was kind of weird but it's beautiful up there nonetheless. Our favorite winery was Left Foot Charley and we bought a bottle of Kerner which is grown in cool climates.

Ninth House

What if the Yale secret societies really did like secret stuff?  You know instead of Skull and Bones teaching you about having an offshore tax account for when you have a multinational corporation.  Like magic stuff.  Well, Leigh Bardugo, who is a Yalie herself, took a break from YA (her YA is excellent and I don't love YA as a rule) to write this adult fantasy-thriller. It is adult and a tad disturbing but the trauma has context and doesn't seem gratuitous. There have been some trigger warnings surrounding this book which are--legit.

Ninth House is kind of like what if Harry Potter was a heroin addict in LA and lived more under a bridge that under the stairs? Then he gets sent to Yale because they need someone who can speak parseltongue but he's a she and more like a non-guitar playing Joan Jett. That's the basic premise.

Awesome book but it loses a couple of points in that there are a lot of flashback scenes which is the hot thing these days (heavy sigh). Just have the character slowly reveal their past but in this chronological time for Pete's sake.  I tried to read Erin Morgenstern's new book The Starless Sea and I had to tap out. I'm like how many books am I reading in the same book? It was like a video game with side quests I swear. Despite some flaws Ninth House is solid and one of he few books I really thought about after a read it for like a whole month.  It's a chungus so it should keep you busy.

While I know I've posted the recipe before I'm going for simple cocktails while we are in quarantine. Dark and Stormy: 3 ounces aged rum, 3-4 ounces of good ginger beer (Q brand makes a can that is perfect to split--you can buy it at Kroger), 1/2 ounce lime juice.  Rocks glass and some ice, pour ingredients and give it a light stir. Nice for the porch and judging the neighbor's dogs.

A Curious Beginning (Veronica Speedwell #1-5)

I think its weird that for some many of a comfort read involves a murder mystery. Weird right? This cozy mystery series fits the bill.  Especially if you like super sassy (and horny) lady Victorian detectives. Veronica Speedwell is like if Mary Poppins could kick your butt.  I always thought she might be able to anyway.  Anyway, there's a hot dude too and they do like the whole sexual tension thing like in X-Files, the Office...most shows. It's a winning formula.

While these are murder mysteries they always end up in some perilous plot and they have to use their wits and martial arts skills to survive.  It's set in Victorian England and while she's accurate if there is a speedboat, well, it's been invented by the year this takes place, its still full of cultural anachronisms like Veronica has modern social values. It's better this way, trust me. You don't want to read the adventures of some weird racist/colonialist detective. Well, I just did the whole Sherlock cannon and while it is still amazing....it sometimes gets a little racist. (pulls collar uncomfortably).

This series doesn't take itself too seriously and its doesn't completely insult your intelligence which is a lot to ask. All five books are solid so just enjoy it.

She whips out this South American drink from her flask called aguardiente. There are great many variations now... and fun fact--they use liquor sales of it in Columbia to fund health care. Genius! Sadly I don't have any but I do have some white rum which I think is, right now, good enough. El Presidente: 1 & 1/2 ounces of white rum, 3/4 ounce of dry vermouth, 1/2 ounce of orange liquor like cointreau, and a dash of grenadine if you have it. Pour all in a cocktail shaker with ice, shake and put in a coupe glass with an orange peel.

Wakenhyrst

Wakenhyrst is newish (2019) gothic thriller set in Edwardian England that should get more hype. Elements of this book are based on different true stories and that makes it extra spooky. Set just before WWI it makes you appreciate living in our current times. Yes, pandemic and all! Plus, both the war and the Spanish Flu is just around the corner for them too. I never understood why people think the past or traveling in time is so great. I'm like, they didn't even have maxi-pads with wings back then. 

Set in a manor house on the moor and fens (I had to look up what a fen is --it's like a marsh) with religion, superstition, some gas-lighting, outsider art, murder and a fantastically realistic villain. And a bird. The bird is not the villain. I do know people that don't like birds and I think I get it. When the starlings come to our feeder I become irrationally angry. They are like the bullies of the bird world. #BeBest I overheard them trying to tell the other birds that if they just wear a scarf they can't get the bird flu. 

Get yourself a cup of builder's tea on one of the "third winter" days (that follows false spring around here) and read this. If it a spring day--for real--then a Gin & Tonic would not be out of place. I used to guess on the gin but I've found that measuring the alcohol makes for a better drink. I know, I'm not fun. Experiment with different tonics I like Fevertree and Q, but anything will do during quarantine. I am not a fan of diet tonic as I think it ruins it and you are not saving that many calories. Also, buy limes in bags! A little fresh lime juice in your gin and tonic, a squeeze over Mexican or add to an Asian inspired peanut sauce. 

My Sister, the Serial Killer

Do you need quarantine reads?  Having a pandemic for a Gen Xer is like a Calvinist falling down the stairs. So that finally happened.

Some people want light reads but My Sister, the Serial Killer is engrossing--its like a thriller without twists.  They say is a dark comedy but it's more like absurd moments. The author is Nigerian-British and everyone knows that for the Brits someone falling down the stairs is the main criterion for a comedy. This one has an elevator scene so obviously its not a comedy. It is known.

This short read also is a fantastic audio book. It is a kind of punchy confessional so it totally works. I like to take long walks in the neighborhood listening to audio so I'll include more recommendations. I was a ahead of the game on this whole social distancing. Also, I'm part British so I never wanted people to get too close anyway. For some reason, I'm not a fan of as much physical comedy as the Brits but I'm not above an excellent fart joke. That's the German side I'm thinking.

I have my own confessional in that I have absolutely laid waste to my liquor cabinet during quarantine. So I've been more creative. It turns out that you make a good Old Fashioned Cocktail out of relatively cheap bourbon. Very counterintuitive. The cheap bourbon should be decent but you don't need your Woodford Reserve if it runs out (or you are broke). "New Fashioned Cocktail": pour 2 &1/2 ounces "decent" bourbon (I've been using Very Old Barton), a small squirt of agave nectar, a few drops of orange bitters in a rocks glass over ice.  Stir and add a little orange peel or a cherry. 

     

The World That We Knew

What if The Terminator was sent to Nazi occupied France to protect his future creator's great grandma from being sent to Auschwitz? That sounds awesome. It's not exactly the plot of this book but also not a bad idea? There is hint of that idea in this book so I think you should read it. Alice Hoffman is more known for "magical realism" than writing Terminator fan fiction but this book is worth reading anyway.

It's hard to pull off a Nazi book that doesn't get dangerously close to manipulatively sentimental. While this one doesn't cross it it still has this IMPORTANT BOOK vibe. It's hard to pull off magical realism with Nazis but she nails it. I wouldn't be surprised if this gets opted for a movie. 

If my movie was made I think Gal Gadot would be a good Nazi defeating terminator. I like the idea of corny anachronistic lines like, "Hey Goring, this is from Miss Israel 2004." (Puts on sunglasses--blows him away with a rocket launcher). "How about a shrimp on the Klaus Barbie..." (blasts him with a flamethrower). 

There is no terminator but you should read this book anyway. It's mostly kids scared of getting caught by Nazis and the people that help them. She weaves real historical facts in the story so you'll learn things. There is one eye rolling scene but nobody's perfect. Well, except Gal Gadot.

It's a wartime novel so we can always use a little Penicillin (also bees are a plot point believe it or not): 2 ounces of scotch, 3/4 ounce lemon juice, 3/4 ounce honey simple syrup, 1/4 ounce smoky Islay scotch, 2-3 coin size slices of fresh ginger. Muddle the ginger and add the rest into a cocktail shaker with ice except for the smoky scotch. Shake and strain into a rocks glass and garnish with a toothpick with a speared piece of candied ginger. 

A Woman of No Importance (and Agent Zigzag)

I hate Nazis but I like spies. Who doesn't? This non-fiction book is about an American spy in France during WWII named Virginia Hall who gave the Gestapo fits. It's pretty inspirational. She wasn't groomed to be a spy but volunteered. Things were extra rough for her as she still had an accent and a fake leg. She rarely, but occasionally, had to hide stuff in the fake leg. Ok, now, she lost the leg in a hunting accident, she didn't cut it off on purpose so she could hide stuff. I mean, she was tough but that would be taking it to the next level on the whole spy-craft thing.

This book is more about sabotage in Vichy France then military strategy. I learned way more about Vichy France and my main take away was that  Phillipe Pretain was an horrible old idiot. Military strategy is not really my thing anyway. To me, the Battle of the Bulge is the name of my Mom's old Weight Watcher's pamphlet from 1978. I really wished I kept those things they had intricate drawings of sweets surrounding cartoon devil with a goatee and with tail. Good stuff.

This is a fine book of a truly inspirational woman.  A better spy book but the spy was a sketchy dude is Agent ZigZag by Ben Macintyre. That book reads like a movie script. Eddie Chapman was a "reformed" criminal that fell into becoming a double agent. He was a hero but also an ass. I don't think Virginia and Eddie ever met but I'd like to think she would have whopped him upside his head with her fake leg.

A perfect cocktail for spies is this bourbon based one called The Revolver: 2 ounces of rye heavy bourbon, 1/2 ounce coffee liquor, 2 dashes orange bitters. Stir or shake in a cocktail shaker (or mixing glass) until well chilled, strain and pour into a cocktail glass. Put a large strip of orange peel and twist to release the oils in the glass. Enjoy while looking suspiciously at others.

Spinning Silver

This is the Tom Hanks of books. Everybody loves it and you know, it deserves the love. Set in olden times Russia before it was really Russia, not only do villagers have to deal with crushing poverty but and Elfin King lives in the forest and he's a creeper. Our lady Miryem is from a moneylender family and is really good with money. Of course, Black Friday back then meant that half the village died of the plague. We've really lost the true spirit of the holiday. I celebrate Black Friday the traditional way by staying in my house and drinking healthful elixirs. 

Besides being a world class creep, that Elfin King is greedy for gold and has poor social skills. He would be the star of The Real Housewives of the Elfin Dreamscape. Once he realizes Miryem can make him money he turns into a something like a cross between a crappy Hollywood Agent and the master of a multi-level marketing scheme. Also, there is a Russian noble born lady that uses the elfin gold snags herself a hot Czar. Shoot, this does sound like a new show on Bravo. Anyway the ladies are feistier than they look and it's exciting and you should read it if you haven't already. There is a similar book called Uprooted, set in the same world but this is not a series. It's a very good book except for the romance felt icky and so it lost some cool points but it's still worth reading. 

Let's drink a healthful elixir. Somewhere years ago I suggested a White Russian and a traditional one would not be out of place. This is a variation called The Dude, from the Big Lebowski: 1&1/2 ounce cognac, 3/4 ounce chilled coffee, 1/2 ounce fine sugar, 1/2 ounce heavy cream, 1/2 ounce ruby port and 4 dashes of Angostura bitters. The original recipe calls for an egg...but you can leave it out or use just the white as it will make it frothy. Shake all of the ingredients in a cocktail shaker with ice and strain into a glass. You should probably admire the rug while drinking this as it really brings the room together.  

The Woman in the Window

I've read a few thrillers this year while walking and The Woman in the Window is well, pretty much just what you want in a thriller I suppose.  It certainly has the sales history to prove it. It pays homage to all the old movies it riffs/steals from. It is a good book for what it is. A few twists, sure, but I've decided that I actually like suspenseful  mysteries more than pure thrillers. That's a fine line I know...but well, I'm weird. I'm learning that if everyone is reading it its probably a regular old thriller.

Our unreliable narrator is an agoraphobic who drinks too much and is on psych meds and has PTSD. No one believes her when she says that she witnessed a murder. We are constantly guessing what is reality. She is guessing what is reality. Hopped up on goofballs and wine. Actually, now that I think about it being stuck in a mansion, on drugs, with merlot watching old movies in a bath-robe....I think we are supposed to think she is pathetic but I'm like, where is your TED Talk?  We can't even be bothered to go and get McDonald's anymore. No, you bring to me, sure some fries are missing but that's the price you pay. It's never been a better time to be agoraphobic. Who would even notice?

Apparently the movie coming out is going to be terrible. So you can be one of those people that says the book is better. It usually is--although there are a few notable exception--Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norell was better. I didn't bother watching the last season of Game of Thrones so I'm still living in a denial state where I think they did a great job.

So much Merlot...so very much. Lets try a fall sangria with a whole bottle of red. Cranberry Apple Sangria: 1 bottle of white wine, 1 bottle of red wine, 3 cups of apple cider, 3 cups cranberry juice, 1 cup brandy, 4 cinnamon sticks and 1/2 cup mulling spices.  In a medium pan combine the cider and mulling spices, and steep on medium, add the cinnamon sticks and simmer to a boil.  Remove from heat and cool.  In a large pitcher add the rest of the ingredients with ice.  You can top each glass with champagne if you want. 

My Best Friend's Exorcism

Like, totally grody--to the max!  If you remember people saying this or are really into the 80's yet are young (this is a thing I am assured) then you might like this very retro horror book.  He nails the 80's don't get me wrong--also super cool--you can follow a companion "mix-tape" on Spotify.  Each chapter is a song title.  It's pretty clever but this is from the author that made a horror book out of an IKEA catalog. I did forget that Phil Collins was huge.  It's not wrong to put it on there as he was popular and he came up--oh crap--I couldn't hit the advance button fast enough.

So the plot is two best friends in the 80's and one gets possessed by the devil. I did approve of the Iron Maiden track which is completely appropriate. Sounds awesome right? Well, something is missing from the plot.  Warning--it does have a bit of body horror but I would not consider this a "scary book." What is missing from this story is above my pay grade--it's something though.  To use another 80's reference, its like one of those Magic Eye things and you can't see the horse.  (I could never do those things).  Anyway, the 80's details are on point.  I loved Stranger Things but it got both the 80's details and had a great story-line. This is like someone took a Keebler Magic Middle and sucked all the chocolate out. (We didn't get those as those were expensive). That's a rich kid cookie.

Even though this is not a great book, and it is a horror book, it's still a bit of fun.  I was having a really bad weekend when I read it and it brought me out of a funk.

We have to do an authentic 80's drink (checks internet...wow, so many nasty drinks) let's do a drink that's less nasty and also a dessert: Mudslide: 1 ounce each of Kahlua, vodka, and Irish cream and add a scoop of vanilla ice cream (you read that right) to a blender--with a little ice, blend and add to a hurricane glass and drizzle chocolate syrup on top.

Girl in the Tower & The Winter of the Witch

Have you ever read a book so good you get angry? Why can't all books (and series) be this good? Also, when is her new book coming out? Crap she's writing a children's series. Why do the children get all the good things? Luckily she is super young so she can keep writing. Writing books for me. ALL FOR ME. I've read plenty of fantasy books this year and these were the best I've read in years. It's like when you watch TV and none of the shows are funny and you wonder if you are depressed and then HBO's Barry comes along and so you quit therapy.
    
Girl in the Tower and The Winter of the Winter Witch are books two and three in this fantastic Winternight Trilogy.  Katherine Arden manages to incorporate real historical events, old school Russian folklore and some modern sensibilities without it being crazy anachronistic. Rebelling against a crushing patriarchal system?  Answer, witches. It's always witches. 

One thing you should note is that I am kind of a sucker for talking animals. Behemoth from Master and Margarita and, well any talking animal.  It's a serious
book but then it has *shakes fists excitedly* talking horses. Horses don't talk they use mental telepathy, duh, they can't speak Russian because they have those giant Tony Robbins teeth. You can only hear them if you are a witch.

Horses and witches are sassy. I cannot recommend this series enough if you remotely like historical fantasy. 

Let's do this fall variation on a Moscow Mule, which seems appropriate: 2 oz of each: cranberry juice, vodka and lime juice and add to 3 ounces of ginger beer.  Add some fresh or frozen cranberries as a garnish if desired.

My Family and Other Animals

Just when you've found paradise there is always a catch.  You have to put your number two toilet paper in a bucket because the pipes are too small in Greece. It makes you really appreciate the blessing of the American sewer system. I'm pretty sure it answers to prayer.....please God go down and other such pleas.

The toilet bucket was a deal breaker for the Durrell family in Gerald Durrell's "memoir" of his spending a good part of his childhood in Greece. They immediately had to find a house that did not require the poop bucket. It sets a tone. We are in Greece but we are still British and will not conform to your poop-bucket arrangement. 

Written as a trilogy to fund his own zoo, (he was a lifelong animal enthusiast and possibly unemployable) you actually only need to read the first book. That book is called My Family and Other Animals and the whole trilogy is called The Corfu Trilogy. I think my father-in-law went to Corfu for one of his honeymoons. Yeah, I used the plural. Don't read the last book (or stop before the last two chapters) as it starts to get a little racist at the end. It's always a risk reading a book that is older. I'm pretty sure the BBC special doesn't include that part.

Setting that aside, it's full of humor, fantastic descriptions of Greece, especially the natural surroundings, in an era just before WWII. It is wonderfully idyllic and even though he spent some formative years in Greece, it is also quintessentially British. The mom makes scones in Greece. There are a lot of animals, including a pet owl. Who has a pet owl? Anyway, he takes some artistic licence of his memories and includes only the good things and possibly embarrassing but funny stuff. His oldest brother, who became a professional writer, is a good comedic foil but in real life he was a jerk of the highest order. I will say the taxi driver who becomes the family friend has the best lines. I did some laughing out loud, which is pretty unusual for me. So this book is good for if every day feels like Monday. (Um, again don't read that last chapter of the last book).

I'm going to spare you an ouzo based cocktail and give you a sangria recipe. The family drinks copious amounts of wine anyway. Add 1/2 apple and 1/2 orange chopped with 3 tablespoons brown sugar to 3/4 cups orange juice to 1/3 cup brandy to a large pitcher and muddle. Add one bottle of dry red wine (maybe it's Greek?) and stir.  Add a little ice to chill. Taste and adjust if needed and chill. This makes 4 cups. 

Darker Shade of Magic trilogy

Like a craft project I wasn't sure I wanted to finish, I reviewed the first book a couple of years ago. This series set the tone for the latest batch of fantasy novels (series) in the last few years. Not all of them are this good but they feature ladies that kick butt (and kill), at least one gay character, tons of action and minimal snacking. I heartily disapprove of the minimal snacking. They are frankly too busy killing and scheming to snack. I mean, is this world full of magic power bars? I don't think it is. What a cruel world that is full of magic but yet, no snacks.

The premise of the books is that there are four Londons one superimposed on each other kind of magical string theory of multiple dimensions. Only the "special magicians" can travel to other worlds. Grey London, which is our Regency London, has almost no magic. Even if it's dangerous to go back and forth to the various worlds I think they do go for the snacks. Grey London has the good scones and White London has the good pasta, I think. Black London is the most dangerous of all but has all the chocolate and coffee so....I mean, you're going to go. Ok, I'm making this part up.  It's a very fast paced pirates and magicians crazy adventure.  I will warn you that book two has a stupid magical Olympics. I wish I was making that part up. 

If you can find the right version of the audio books those are excellent. Book one has this British actor that made the whole thing awesome...and then they decided to get different narrators for books two and three for an American audience and I want to kick someone.

This cocktail seems right for no matter which London you happen to reside: Bourbon Harvest Sour: 5 dark cherries (I would think frozen would work fine), 1.5 good bourbon, 1/2 ounce sweet vermouth, 3/4 cinnamon infused simple syrup and 2 dashes of Aromatic bitters. Muddle the cherries and add the rest of the ingredients to a cocktail shaker  Shake and strain into a chilled coupe glass.     

From Here to Eternity

Cool, casual book about death rituals around the world. No biggie. Your funeral doesn't have to be normal. Maybe you want a hipster funeral and artisan made casket from Etsy and a wake with craft cocktails? Maybe you want to be shot into space hugging Elon Musk? Maybe he's not even dead yet. I don't know what your funeral fantasies are. Maybe you want your body to be stuffed with bamboo and then dropped into a panda preserve? They might eat it. I don't know.  The lady at the zoo said they sometimes eat meat and an overly confident duck met her early demise at the enclosure at The San Diego zoo. I say it was duck bet gone bad. One of those "Hold my snail." kind of things.

The author is a funeral director talks about funerals around the world and frankly, we are kind of lame.  She slipped in a casual breezy quote from my former thesis adviser and that was surprising but cool. I get made fun of at work if I mention anything resembling the words "thesis adviser" because I work with a bunch of cretins. They would never want a bamboo/panda funeral.  No creativity and no "vision" really.

This is worth reading if you are curious about death rituals around the world or would like kind of an in-depth Atlas Obscura kind of thing. This is not heavy-duty and not an in-depth study into the various belief systems around the world. Breezy. A very breezy death book. 

Celebrate life and the end of summer with this intriguing cocktail--I mean, you only live once. Giro d' Italia:  2 ounces of good bourbon, 3/4 ounce of lemon juice, 3/4 agave nectar and 2 cherry tomatoes and a few basil leaves. Muddle the cherry tomatoes and 4 basil leaves in glass and then pour into a cocktail shaker.  Add the other ingredients and shake over ice.  Strain into an old fashioned glass with a little ice. Garnish with a sprig of basil. 

The Heart's Invisible Furies

Do you remember those old Gold Bond Powder commercials? They claimed to heal everything from: jock itch, psoriasis, athlete's foot, tax issues...wait. The Heart's Invisible Furies is a tale for every ailment, struggle or historical event, good or bad, that could impact a gay man's life in the 20th century. It all happened for our protagonist. Think a very Irish Forrest Gump.

A big sweeping epic tale of one man's life, which is either a very interesting life or maybe a fable that is sad with elements of humor. I seem to recall Angela's Ashes was like this? Look at this tragic tale but also maybe here are some jokes?  Well, without the humor it would be extra sad. Crazy sad. Still, seems odd. I think it's an Irish thing.  A lot of people love this book. I think it was worth the time to read especially for book club for humans that lived at least some time in the 20th century. I don't know, you could be young. If so, you did not get that Forrest Gump joke...or that Gold Bond Powder joke. (Edits out A-Team joke).

I just looked up the active ingredient in Gold Bond powder and it's menthol. Menthol seems like such an anticlimactic active ingredient. Oh you'll still have fungus and be seething but pain but it will be minty fresh.

Why not cheer yourself up while doing some day drinking with Mimosa Margaritas: this makes a bunch... 2 cups orange juice, 1/2 cup tequila, 1/4 cup lime juice and stir (chill if needed).  Rim your glasses with orange juice and salt (or sugar if you like it sweet) and add you mix. Top with chilled champagne or prosecco. 

Fifth Season (Broken Earth Trilogy)

Do you know your Mohs' scale? How's your plate tectonic knowledge? Well, you didn't know you'd need that geology class while trying to relax reading a fantasy book. You thought your Bachelors in Elf Sciences would be enough.  Don't worry, it's not like the math problems of The Martian. And a lot less boob jokes. Actually, no boob jokes. A boob or two will come up in this trilogy but that's a serious matter.

The series does have cool world-building based on earthquake magic. Keep in mind this is set in a post-apocalyptic world so the snacking breaks are both few and lame.  Apparently if they run out of meat they will die. Wait a minute, I haven't eaten meat in over 20 years and I'm not dead yet, so that part was irksome. You will not die. You will be regular and have energy to run from monsters. C'mon.

I liked this series much more than her other book but I have a hard time relating to her characters. They feature strong women leaders that put themselves in harm's way. Not me. I'm more like Tyrion Lannister. First, why is this now my problem to solve? Second, if it needs to be solved can my book learning and sneaky understanding of basic psychology solve the problem?  Most importantly, can I convince someone else to put themselves in harm's way?  Also, we can plan and solve problems over wine and add a little joke too. I GET YOU TYRION. 

You'll need to read these all back to back as she does not recap. The good news is that the second book is probably the best one in the series which is unusual. It is a big commitment though.

Hey, if you have a volcanic winter you're going to be missing some sunshine. So drink a Sunshine: 2 ounces of white rum, 1/2 ounce french vermouth, one ounce pineapple juice and one dash grenadine.  Combine all in shaker with ice and strain into a coupe glass.

I Might Regret This

Abbi's book about heartbreak. I don't think I've ever gone through heartbreak like the kind she describes in this book.  I had guys break up with me and it felt like getting fired from a  really crappy job... you...are firing me? How dare you? I'm sad! Oh wait, this is awesome. The longest I've been sad is three days. I've been sadder longer about being out of maraschino cherries. Hey, when you are out of the actual cherries you can put the syrup over ice cream...it's the gift that keeps on giving.

Abbi is very much a Millennial which is fine, fine, Millennials have passed baby boomers recently as the biggest generation. I welcome our new overloads. I love all the headlines that say "Millennials are killing Hooters by never going to the completely outdated concept for overpriced crappy food and misogyny." I might be paraphrasing.

I Might Regret This will make a lot more sense if you've seen Broad City. Some say you don't need to but I really think you should. Otherwise this book makes almost no sense. It's decent but at the same time don't feel bad if you skip it. She has some of her drawings in here which are quaint but also kind of crappy? I don't mean to be a hater but it kind of inspires to draw again as I would never publish those. She definitely puts herself out there in Broad City and this book. Not me. Nothing is ever good enough. A Gen X book is more title is more like: This Book Probably Sucks.

Abbi gets an over-hyped and overpriced cactus pear margarita. I think I once had a cactus pear candy. It was underwhelming. They just don't have a ton of flavor. Cute as all get-out though. Lets try a better margarita and: Raspberry Margarita mix 1 &1/2 ounces tequila, 1 ounce triple sec or Cointreau, 1 ounce lime juice, and 1/2 fresh raspberries and one cup of ice in a blender. Blend until smooth and pour into a chilled margarita glass.  Garish with a fresh raspberry. Normally I'm against frozen blended drinks but with summers like this I'm willing to forgo my prejudice.

Are We Smart Enough to Know How Smart Animals Are?

So Are We Smart Enough to Know How Smart Animals Are? No. There I saved you some effort. Apparently scientists in animal behavior are kind of like PG rap-battlers...."You didn't get peer reviewed research, Fool!"  I bet you didn't even do a fellowship in that field...sucker." "Don't come all up in here with without empirical evidence to support that hypothesis....dummy."

Honestly, when I pick up a non-fiction book on animals I just want to know what dolphins are thinking. I just want some wonderment in my life is that too much to ask? The thesis is solid in this book but it takes all the wind out my sails. I just want to know about whales' songs....like what are they saying? I like to think they cover all kinds of news like: Mabel is mating with Chester this year, be careful around Japan these days, there is an underwater volcano near the Azores right now and my barnacles are really bothering me.  I'm going to try to scrape them off on Newfoundland. Hey, if you see Ethel tell her I haven't forgotten....she'll know what that means.

If you want a book more like that then you should read Alex and Me. That book made me laugh and cry. This book casually mentions her research in a polite but patronizing way.  Fine, the lady's life work is wasted. You win. But do you? She gets to spend her time with talking parrots who are ornery and adorable and you have chimps give you the side eye. Who really wins? Who am I kidding he has a fulfilling life dealing with banana hiding chimps. Most people I know spend all day trying to save an insurance company extra money or trying to sell cigarettes to babies. Even worse, they want to talk to me about their job...ewww...why can't people make up fake whale conversations like normal people?

Animals love fruit. But I suspect they don't like lemons. Too bad for them and more for me. It's hot and this sounds delicious: Limoncello Collins (This makes a pitcher--serves 8): 16 ounces of Limoncello, 12 ounces of gin, 8 ounces of fresh lemon juice, and cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours.  Make 24 paper-thin lemon slices and press 3 lemon slices inside of a Collins glass (it's just a tallish glass), stir the mixture and add to glass and stir in 2 ounces of club soda. Garnish with a mint sprig if you will.