Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The Graveyard Book

If you would like to raise your child with a very healthy sense of the macabre in the tradition of Poe for Babies, ("R is for Raven") and The Berenstain Bears Show Cthulhu's Love well The Graveyard Book is for you.  I am going to go out of a limb and say that this book has been read by far more adults than by children. Why? You ask? Well it was written by Neil Gaimen (*women throwing panties*).

The Graveyard Book is about a boy being raised by ghosts and spirits in his home, the graveyard (say graveyard in a spooky voice). Beyond the dark theme, it is in some ways that classic tale of a boy who is destined to be special.  Like cosmically special.  Like people would literally die to protect you.  WE HAVE BEEN WAITING THOUSANDS OF YEARS FOR THIS BOY.  Is this the best message for children?  I mean, is it really realistic?  I guess no one would buy my "Realistic Life Series" of children's books.  Dream Weaver: The Story of Timmy, Whose Band was Pretty Good but Never Really Hit it Big.  Or, Snack Attack: The Story of Brian, Who Ate Too Many Doritos and Got Some Back Fat Which Was Really Stubborn to Lose. I guess those aren't as glamorous.  They have happy endings. Timmy sells insurance and Brian met a nice girl at the gym.  I guess kids want to read about kids with "magical powers" and "fulfilling destinies."  They are bound for a let down, I'm telling you.  We all have to clean the metaphorical litter box sometime. In my case that is also a literal litter box.     

Anyway, the book is pretty cute.  It is for kids but it's a nice light read for adults, very Gaimeny if that is a word. Spellcheck doesn't think so but it doesn't recognize Cthulhu either. Jerks. 

Drinks: I know cocktails are not appropriate for children (I guess). But they are appropriate for women about to, or in the act of, throwing panties. Why not a spooky themed one? Now, last August I gave you the recipe for Corpse Reviver #2, which is the most popular Corpse Reviver (there are a lot of them).  Here is another variation:  1&1/2 ounces of brandy, 3/4 ounce Calvados or other apple brandy, 3/4 ounce sweet vermouth.  Put in a cocktail shaker with ice, shake and strain.  As a side note, I recently bought a brand of sweet vermouth called Cocchi Vermouth di Torino and it is amazing. Wow. Dear Cocchi people, send me some bottles please, I've got a powerful case of the Cocchis.     

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